TC 10: Let it Rain
by Tegan's Muse
Summary: What happens to a hero?
1. Chapter 1

**Tegan Chronicles**

**Let it Rain 1**

"Saaaaam!" Tegan's voice carried across the field as she charged toward the blonde major.

Sam looked up in time to see Tegan take a flying leap, stretching her body in front of the staff weapon pointed in her direction. Jack watched in horror as the staff weapon directed at Sam's chest engaged, his mind barely registered the sounds of rapid gunfire or Tegan's war cry, as the staff weapon fired.

"Let it Raaaaaaaain!" The staff blast hit her square in the chest shielding Sam from any damage.

"NOOOOooooo!" Sam's voice echoed in the ears of her teammates, but it was too late. Tegan lay motionless at her feet, a gapping hole in her chest. She'd managed to kill a few Jaffa before being taken out herself.

"Sam, drop your weapon." Jack's voice was soft and full of regret.

The Jaffa surrounded them, and even before Tegan had been hit they were far too out numbered to even retreat back to the gate.

Sam bent to check for a pulse, but was stopped by another staff weapon, which was thrust into her chest. "She is dead. Move away, unless you wish to join her."

Sam stepped back without further provocation. Tegan had given her life to save hers, and she wasn't about to make it all for naught in a matter of seconds. She was pushed forward and away from Tegan's lifeless form to join her other teammates who were about to be transported onto Apophis' ship as prisoners.

* * *

><p>"Where's Major Kiser?" General Hammond looked over the group as the gate deactivated.<p>

Janet watched them anxiously.

"She didn't make it sir." Jack hung his head.

"Are any of you injured?"

"No sir." He responded quietly.

"Then I'd like to debrief now." General Hammond stretched his arm to the door.

"Sir?" She was strangely detached, as if she was watching some silly cartoon.

"Yes doctor, you can sit in on it." General Hammond followed the still stunned team into the debriefing room with Janet on his heels.

"When Sam joined us at the transport rings, the C4 we'd set earlier went off blowing away a fair amount of the Jaffa, and leaving the others scrambling for cover."

"It was then that we made our escape." Teal'c picked up where the Jack left off. "We returned to where Major Kiser had fallen, but she was not there."

"What do you mean she wasn't there?" General Hammond leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on the oblong table.

"The Jaffa must have moved her." Teal'c glanced around the room.

"She sure as hell didn't walk away." Jack's voice was sobering.

"Very well, SG1 you are on stand down until further notice. I'll be interviewing you each separately, standard protocol."

"Yes sir." Jack was the only one, aside from Teal'c, to have spoken since their return.

"Sir, I'd like to see them in the infirmary." Janet spoke softly.

"We're fine Janet." Sam barked out.

"I'll be the judge of that. Sir?"

"You heard the doctor." General Hammond gave a nod. "You're dismissed."

* * *

><p>"We have to go back!" Sam pushed Janet's worried hands away as Jack got up to leave the infirmary.<p>

"Carter?"

"She's not there because Apophis knows about Nirrti's reward. His Jaffa would've taken her back to his ship and put her in his sarcophagus."

"Is it possible?" Janet was trying to remain the consummate professional, even though on the inside she was falling apart. At this point any hope was worth holding on to.

"They would have taken her back with us." Teal'c burst her little bubble.

"Maybe they went back before we got there?" Daniel wasn't going to just give up on the possibility either.

"Why else would her body just disappear?" Sam jumped off the bed she was on. "We have to go back."

"They're long gone by now." Jack shook his head.

"We could contact the Tok'ra." Daniel straightened his glasses. "They may have an operative inside of Apophis' ranks."

"It's worth a shot." Jack agreed. "I'll talk to General Hammond."

"Sam," Janet put her hand on Sam's forearm to stop her from leaving. "Was she…"

"She…" Something in Janet's eyes kept her from recounting how bad the wound really was. Jack had already painted a pretty graphic picture when they debriefed, although it hadn't been nearly as graphic as Sam's point of view. "As much as I hate to say it, I hope I'm right. At this point Apophis is her only hope."

"You're sure she was dead."

What more did she need? She nodded, "I saw her eyes Janet. I've got to go."

* * *

><p>"How are you holding up?" Janet walked into the Stargate control room where Sam was waiting for any word from the Tok'ra.<p>

"I'll be better once we know they've at least got someone on the inside." She stared at the gate, willing it to activate. "General Hammond has her status as wounded and missing in action."

Janet nodded, that would be easier to tell Cassie, at least for now. She wished she didn't have to tell Cassie at all. The girl had already been through so much in her short life. Watching her entire race, including her own parents, be wiped out by a mad woman. Being found and brought to earth only to find out she had a bomb in her chest. How hard it must have been in the brief seconds Sam was actually going to follow orders and leave her in the bottom of that nuclear missile silo. Luckily the distance from the gate caused the organic bomb to break down and be reabsorbed into her chest. It wasn't that long ago she'd almost lost her 'second' mother and now Tegan. Exactly who was Tegan to Cassie? A friend, an older sister figure? More importantly who was Tegan to Janet? To SG1?

"Let me know what you find out." Janet turned to leave.

"I will."

* * *

><p>Out of curiosity they'd tried to send a MALP back through to the planet, to see if the Jaffa were still there. To see if there was any possibility Tegan was alive. The MALP never made it through. "Why would he destroy the Stargate?"<p>

"I do not know." Teal'c looked at Jack.

"If he has Tegan, he may not have wanted us to come back through." Sam was still waiting to hear back from the Tok'ra. Their initial contact had been positive, in that they did have an operative on the inside. It was questionable how long it would be before they would be able to make contact with him.

"It is most improbable." Teal'c responded. "Apophis thinks he is a god, he would not fear our return."

"Teal'c's right." Daniel's comment earned him a sigh from Sam.

* * *

><p>It had been a little over three weeks when Jack showed up in the door way to Janet's office. She knew without question he was the bearer of bad news, and she braced herself accordingly. Professional, she reminded herself. How was she going to tell Cassie?<p>

"We just heard from the Tok'ra." He looked old, and worn. His eyes glistened with tears waiting to be shed. "Apophis doesn't have Major Kiser, and as far as they can ascertain, none of the system lords do."

"So that's it, we're just…"

"General Hammond is calling off all searches. We can't get back to the planet, and even if she did survive the initial wounds, she wouldn't have lasted long." He looked away, not wanting to see the emotion brewing deep in Janet's dark eyes. "Her injuries were far worse than Captain Daniels'."

Janet had already gathered as much from hearing his description in the debriefing. She couldn't stop the visuals from flashing through her mind, as if she'd been there and actually seen it. "She was a hero."

"She was." Jack took a deep breath. "We're having a memorial service in the gate room Tuesday. All missions are canceled until Wednesday, and everyone should have returned to base by then."

Janet nodded. "How's Sam?"

"She went to her quarters after we met with General Hammond." He looked at her for a long moment, sitting there stoically. "I'm, uh, gonna head out. Daniel, Teal'c and I are going to drown our sorrows. You're welcome to come."

Janet shook her head.

"I'm going to see if Sam wants to come." He pointed over his shoulder. "If you need anything I'll have my phone on."

* * *

><p>"Sam I'm coming in." Janet opened the door to her quarters and announced her presence.<p>

"No." Sam protested weakly from her curled position behind the bed. She'd hid there earlier when Jack had come in looking for her, and didn't have the energy or will power to get up.

"Yes." The door clicked closed behind her petite frame.

Sam looked across the darkened room as Janet hesitated. "Go home."

"Come with me."

"No." Sam's voice cracked on the word. "I'll go home later."

"You really shouldn't be alone." Janet stepped forward as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.

"Jack's alone, Teal'c is alone, Daniel is alone. Why should I be any different?"

"Jack and Daniel went out to drown their sorrows. Teal'c went along to keep them out of trouble, and call for a cab if they drink too much." Janet explained as she slowly closed the distance.

"I'm fine. I want to be alone."

"I don't think you need to be alone." Janet could just make out the dark huddled form on the other side of the room.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone."

Janet sat on the foot of Sam's bunk leaving plenty of space for her. "I'm not. I lost a really good friend, and I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Cassie."

Sam sighed, she'd been so caught up in her own grief she hadn't stopped to think the other woman might be hurting too. She surely hadn't stopped to think how it would affect Cassie. A new wave of tears made their way down her cheeks. "She died because of me."

Janet shook her head, not that Sam could see her in the dark. "No, she died because she didn't want you to die."

"I always figured she'd die a hero, just didn't want it to be before I did." Sam tried to put some humor in the statement, but failed. "Janet, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to go on from here."

"I know." Janet replied quietly. "I… I think she would want you to continue doing what you've been doing."

* * *

><p>"Cassandra."<p>

"That's never good." Cassie looked up from the book she was reading, the soft concern in her mother's voice causing her to panic.

"Tegan's memorial service is going to be Tuesday. I'll think it's ok if you want to miss school for it." A tear slipped down her check. She'd been so strong and hadn't cried until now.

"That's crazy, Jack said she was missing in action. That means she's coming back, you all just have to find her."

"Cass." Janet sat down on the couch, fighting the tears that refused to stop. "Tegan was badly wounded protecting Sam."

"So you can fix her. You always fix people." She wasn't going to just accept this. "It's your job to fix people."

"She wouldn't have even made it back through the Stargate alive." Janet wrapped her daughter in her arms. "We had thought, we hoped Apophis had taken her back to his ship, but Tok'ra intelligence says that didn't happen."

"I…" Cassie pushed her mom away. "I'm going to my room."


	2. Chapter 2

**Tegan Chronicles**

**Let it Rain 2  
><strong>

Daniel walked into Sam's lab to find her crying again. This time she was in front of her laptop trying to come up with some words that would do justice to her fallen comrade, her friend and departed hero. "There aren't any words that describe Tegan, they all seem to fall short."

"I know." Daniel nodded. "Jack said the same thing."

"How can I…" Her voice cracked and he wrapped his arms around her.

Two levels below her Janet sat in her office alone with her thoughts, she'd been asked to say a few words and still wasn't sure if she would. She wanted to, but she wasn't sure if her heart would allow her. Just thinking about all the things she'd like to say brought tears to her eyes. She let them fall.

* * *

><p>"Sam?" Colonel O'Neill stuck his head in her quarters, the door had been cracked.<p>

"Sir?"

"How are you holding up?"

She shook her head no, just when she didn't think she could cry anymore she did. "I can't do this. I have to do it, and I can't do it."

"How many times did she save my ass?" He leaned against the doorframe. "And Daniel's, and Teal'c, we knew one of these days she'd die a hero. We just didn't know when, or where, or how."

"I know, but why me?" She felt warm arms embracing her and another wave of tears began.

Jack held her until she quieted, and then he wasn't sure how or why but he kissed her. It wasn't a simple kiss, a chaste peck on the cheek. It was one of those make you weak in the knees kisses, full on the lips. At least it made him weak in the knees. He pulled away, and mumbled; "Sorry."

Sam shook her head a small grin on her face. "I need to get changed."

He looked down at his own uniform, nothing but full dress blues would do for this occasion. "Me too."

* * *

><p>"Hero, what defines a hero?" Sam stood behind the podium they'd set up in the gate room for Tegan's service. "'Webster defined a hero as a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability; an illustrious warrior. A man' or a woman 'admired for his achievements and noble qualities. One that shows great courage' Major Tegan Kiser was all of these things and more.<p>

"She defined hero in her everyday actions, both on base and off. I once watched her stop to help a squirrel that had been injured by a passing car. You could call her any time day or night and she would be ready for anything you threw at her, whether it was taking care of a sick friend or going off to save the world.

"On a side note the list of people she has saved is too many, we would be here until next week if I listed them all. There is a list hanging in the infirmary, if you have somehow been omitted from the list please add your name."

When Sam finished her thoughts it was time for Janet to make her way up to the podium sitting at the top of the ramp, the large Stargate looming appropriately as a back drop. "I don't know what I can add to Major Carter's words. Most of you have at one point or another witnessed Tegan and I butting heads, either over her own health or something that she thought was of greater importance. I can't tell you the number of times she would work through the night researching some plant or animal another SG team had brought back through the gate; Just so it wouldn't have to sit for a couple days while she went out with her own team. Although it was rare that her team was only gone for a few days, so maybe she was right in doing so."

Janet paused while the chuckles faded. "She spent hours on end working on her own work and then she would pop into the infirmary to see if there was anything she could do there. I never once heard her complain when I pulled her away from her work because I needed assistance. Because she needed to eat or rest, yes, but never to help someone else. She was the best doctor I've ever had the privilege to work with.

"Outside of work I watched her grow close to my daughter Cassandra, and to her team, as well as myself. We are all better people for having known her, and I for one will miss her greatly."

"I'm a man of few words." Jack stood at the podium to complete the comments. "Well, I'm going to be today. Major Kiser was one of the best. SG1 will never be the same without her, but then we were never the same with her. I'll miss her constantly saving my butt, and the rest of my team will have to make up for her absence. Major Tegan Kiser where ever you are resting, I salute you."

Taps was played and the flag folded, saluted by Colonel O'Neill and Sam before being placed in Janet's arms. Where it would go from there, no one really knew. It was custom to give it to family and since Tegan's only family was sitting in a jail cell rotting, and not worthy of even being told of her passing, it was handed to Janet because she was the person standing there.

"We're going to break a bit with tradition," Jack announced when the pomp and circumstance was over. He waved his hand to two airmen who quickly removed the podium from the ramp. Up in the control room coordinates for a tropical planet were being typed into the computer, and as soon as the Stargate engaged Jack spoke again. "We all know Tegan wasn't you're normal run of the mill woman, and we hope she finds this final tribute as fitting as we did."

Daniel and Teal'c picked up the flower arrangement that had been made in the shape of a full size surf board and had been displayed at the bottom of the ramp earlier. Together they slowly ascended the ramp, the speaker in the gate room playing a popular Beach Boys tune. As they sent the surf board through the gate in her memory.

_Catch a wave and your sittin' on top of the world_

So take a lesson from a top-notch surfer boy (catch a wave, catch a wave)  
>Get yourself a big board<br>But don't you treat it like a toy  
>Just get away from the shady turf<br>And baby go catch some rays on the sunny surf  
>And when you catch a wave you'll be sittin on top of the world<p>

Catch a wave and you'll be sittin' on top of the world  
>(Way up high, up on top of the world)<br>Catch a wave and you'll be sittin' on top of the world  
>(Way up high, up on top of the world)<br>Catch a wave and you'll be sittin' on top of the world

* * *

><p>After Tegan's ceremony there was a wake held at Jack's house. SG1 wasn't scheduled for any missions for at least another week, and General Hammond requested that Sam and Janet go through Tegan's things just in case there was anything classified there. Janet didn't understand why they had to do it so quickly. Why General Hammond insisted on getting her house on the market so soon. The market was in a slump, no one was really buying, what difference would it make? But he wanted closure for everyone involved. He knew prolonging it would only make it that much harder.<p>

A week had passed since they had packed up all of Tegan's things. Refusing to get rid of them Janet put most of them in a storage unit, hoping one day to just be able to haul it off to Goodwill. Jack was holding onto the Porsche and Sam had the Ducati in her garage, once the will was read they would get rid of them.

* * *

><p>It was the same thing every night. She would start to drift off, and then the dream would come, and she would awake only minutes later. Always the same dream, longing, memory, fantasy, had it ever been real? Had Tegan truly existed, had they all made her up? Janet rolled over, the thin film of perspiration from waking up to nothingness acted like a magnet, attracting her nightgown to her skin and holding it there. Even it suffocated her, but she was too tired to take it off, and instead cocooned herself in her covers warding off the chill around her. She wished the covers were armor, shielding her from all the things she now regretted. All the moments she let pass her by.<p>

Sam lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Darkness, it was everywhere despite the streetlamps outside. It threatened to swallow her whole, engulf her in its cold un-forgivingness. It was part of being a soldier, part of combat, but that didn't make it alright. She wanted it to be her, at least then she didn't have to live with the guilt.

She couldn't breathe; she didn't want to do this. She couldn't just accept that Tegan was dead. Where was her body? Why didn't anyone know what had happened to her? Why had she jumped in to save her? The scientist in her wanted cold hard proof, but she couldn't forget those lifeless eyes staring blankly up at her.

* * *

><p>She looked up as the doors to the infirmary swung open, it was no one, just one of the medics returning from break. She wanted it to be her. She'd give anything for just one more argument over something stupid, her weight, her recklessness on her bike. She just wanted to see her smile, that shock of red hair, those freckles that were barely there. To get lost in a sea of green, to tell her all the things she'd been afraid to tell her before.<p>

"Dr. Fraiser?" Julie held out a chart. "Captain Galloway is ready for his pre-mission exam."

"Thank you."


End file.
